Have you ever woke up one morning and knew that the day wasnt gonna go well
You know like those intuitions our mothers used to have like when you wanna go party and shes like okay you can go but when you've glammed up all of a sudden she comes into your room and says "iz i dont think u should go for this party i have a bad feeling about it" she did that to me once i had just gradutaed from sec school and had been planning for this particular party for a while i had even customized my top with studs, i came back from the salon that evening just about to put the finishing touches to my dressing when she bust into my room with the bad news that i cant go she has a bad feeling and all that sh*t, well of cos i was furious, i cried my heart out to no avail promised i wouldnt drink a sip of alcohol, wouldnt divert from my destination or even dance all to no avail. well those where the dayz.
Anyway i woke up yestreday with that feeling, it was an ordinary day with an ordinary beginning but something just loomed in my mind, anyways i was filled with hormones because it was dat time of the month .
So i begin my day as usual when i got home yesterday i was so tired so i didnt pick what to wear to work the following day, so i open my closet and voila' i didnt have anything to wear ( of cos the closet was filled with clothes but you know when nothing there calls out to you and you just know you are in trouble) so i pick out this pink shirt i havent worn since like forever and wear the black pants i wore earlier in the week.
Immediately i step outta my house i know i am in trouble, i start feeling bloated and to be plain FAT, thats when i know the day is going downhill. i just barely make it to the office on time as usual. i spend the whole day feeling self conscious and depressed and guilty for all the pleasures i have had in the past one month.
So work closes at 5 and i rush to go meet TY at galleria, i wore this really uncomfortable shoes so after work i change to some comfortable slippers ( big mistake on a day like this), so i get to galleria which is like a fashion house in lagos - really some ladies wear their best clothes just to come watch a 90mins movie- dont worry i am beefing*.
So i enter galleria tired from work and hurry to a restroom to refresh my makeup and at least look presentable for my boo, when i look in the mirror of cos i dont like wat i see. i do my best to uplift to situation but those flaps and folds are going nowhere, i finally give up put a smile on my beautiful face and try to muster up courage that i know i dont have at the moment, immediately i step out of the restroom i come face to face with a beautiful well dressed lady with killer shoes, i look down at my slippers and i am ashamed, and all the courage i mustered turns quickly into depression again. so i wait for TY to arrive and spend my time looking at some children that are playing with an interactive advertisement on the ground floor,
TY finally arrives and trust him to put a smile back on my face he is like a breath of fresh air in a world of adversity, i quickly cling to him- telling all d ladies that hes fine and yeah hes mine- but my mood isnt up for long so hes like wat are we doing today and this time i answer i know exactly wat i want to do "eat some comfort food baby" and no i didnt say that i just say " babes lets go to mamas bakery i want to buy something knowing fully well that getting there i would also buy some of that lovely blue bunny icecream that make my toes tingle.
So we buy the cream and some nice snacks from mamas bakery and i dig in, after eating depression and gulit set in again i feel stupid for eating so much calories when i know i shouldnt. And of cos i start spotting out beautifully dressed people all around me and i start feeling diminished. i cant explain all these to TY so i just keep quiet and let my mind wander while he talks after sometinme he notices that am not listening and he thinks its becos of sum issues that we talked about earlier.
A while later i cant wait to get out of galleria cos the oppression is getting too much and having a fine looking man on my arms isnt doing much for my confidence i just want out, so i tell, TY that we should go home feeling guilty cos he feels that am secretly mad at him thats why i was brooding, try to reassure him then i leave, he calls me a while later apologising and i tell him that its not his fault and that i am fine. of cos he didnt believe me but he let me be.
i couldnt wait to get home, and just step into my bed sleep and forget the horrible day and wake up with a fresh start.
beefing-to be jealous, or to hate depending on the situtaion.
OPTIMISTIC VIEW OF THE DAY- MY BOYFRIEND IS A GREAT GUY AND HE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM , I STILL DONT THINK HE NOTICED THAT I WAS MISPLACED IN THE ENVIRONMENT YESTERDAY.