Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Still so fragile

i seriously hate when everything seems perfectly fine and someone comes to rock my deluded boat
Yes it isn't perfect but i am happy, why do you have to bring your pessimistic buzz killing attitude into my life.

I really hate liars, i really really hate liars

The only thing i hate more than liars are people who take me for granted

Its taking my entire willpower to not swear in this post, im trying to take this blog seriously so no more swearing, i am no longer the 19year old that started writing here.

I love myself, i have 2 post-its on my bathroom mirror "I accept myself unconditionally today" " I am worthy of sincere love"

The only thing worse that loving someone that doesnt love you back has to be loving someone that is pretending to love you, well they not only break your heart, they freaking play you for a fool too, making you stand and stare at your self in the mirror asking "How did i not notice it was fake"

i like being a strong independent woman, but still i want a strong shoulder to lean on, dependable shoulder, someone who has got my back no matter what, i would try not to fall, but itd be nice to know someone will "willingly" catch me if i do.

I'd like to be trusted explicitly, i have proven over and over again how well i can be trusted, see i have this rule, id never do it to you, if i wouldnt like it done to me

I treat people well, its how id like to be treated plus it makes me happy to see people genuinely happy and i love being happy

I hate the fact that this blog tells the story of my life, 2 years ago i didnt think this is where i would be, i was pretty sure where i was headed then, *sigh* God has his plans

I wonder how you can love a person so much, and then not love them again, does that mean it wasnt true love?

I always think love is a forever thing, is it pathetic of me to think that?

I have felt that heart wrenching pain, the one that insincere love brings, huge wonder that I'm here again in this position, i always thought id never be able to do this again

im hardly reminded of it nowadays, i've formed new memories, happy memories, now a smell reminds me of something else, a joke reminds me of something else

Everything is a little brighter, a lot more color, there is peace

Im so afraid of shaking it, so afraid of losing it, so afraid of getting hurt, still fragile..........still so fragile.


Beautiful said...

I always wonder about this too - "I wonder how you can love a person so much, and then not love them again, does that mean it wasnt true love?"

*Hugs* I love you.

Eddie Steeze said...

The only thing i can say to this is that human beings are way too complicated. Sometimes things become blurred and you cant even tell what is what anymore...

blogoratti said...

Breathe easy*

bob-ij said...

Hey! Relax.... Some days are that way. And some people are just designed to create obstacles in our way. Jump over it and everything will be fine. Hugs

BBB said...

@Beautiful I love you too twinnie

@Eddie I agree, we really just have to throw ourselves in and "hope" eventually

@Blogoratti, in and out :)

@bob-ij true, so true

honeybear said...

yea people suck and life sucks even more. but you know what isn't half bad? taking a chance. nothing hurts more than pain, and you already felt that. it only gets better. keep your head up.

BBB said...

@honey bear
thanks dear

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