Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Letting Go

ast week was the worst i could have had this year
i got robbed at gun point
TY was almost kidnapped in warri, when we went for his sis wedding
he was in Nigeria for a week and we spent the whole week quarreling and reaching no definite conclusion on our future
in a month
i lost 2fones, my laptop, a car, clothes, documents, money

but all i know is that its over
all these problems have finally ended
no more
i have told God no more
yesterday while driving, shackles by Mary Mary came on the radio
it explained my exact feeling at that time

"every thing that could go wrong, all went wrong at one time, so much pressure fell on me i thought i was gonna lose my mind......."

i have cried and prayed so much in the last one month
i know God hasn't abandoned me

TY left for UK on Monday 3 days earlier than he should have cause of the kidnap attempt
they almost killed him
i don't know what i would have done
i don't want to go into the whole story
but, when he left i knew in me that it might be the last time id see him in along long time

i still love him
even after how much he hurt me
and d disrespect
but i know one day id stop and he will be my past
but now i know i can love another
i would let go
i would let be

there is this unsuspecting peace in me
something calming
i just feel like the storm is over

i still haven't cried since he left
i don't think i will
i just believe if we were meant to be we would be


we have loved each other fiercely for 6years
and it has been the best 6years of my entire life
he was totally worth it
letting go cos of distance and his cheating is going to be hard
and when it hits me that he isn't in my life no more
i might break down

i opened up another blog last week
in my state of confusion
i have deleted that blog

i realize that there is no need to do all of that

things have been bad
but i am not broken
i am not shattered
i will stand and rise above it

the power of prayer cant be underestimated

31 comments:

doll said...

does this mean u have broken up?

Sorry o ! take a hug...for someone that left a 6 year relationship last yr...i know how hard it is...this morning i read some sms that i had from my ex...the ones I liked and saved and moved from phone to phone….some date as back as 2005..i just cried like a baby…and the last time before today i cried was probably last year

but its gonna be alright…and you will be alright too..

P.S thank God for saving your lives…I saw the story on twitter

BBB said...

thanks hun

i think i am still in shock
he still is very much in my life
we talk on fone
but we just know its over
it would be hard to finally cut ties
i guess gradually itd happen

i have over 500 text messages from him that i have moved to from phone to phone
i deleted them on saturday, cried hard while doing it
it just told a story
that i really have to let go of.

i will be fine
i have to be

its just so hard
cos i still love him so much
*sigh*
well nothing we can do now

doll said...

at east u were able to delete them...i havent been able to bring myself to....

and my ex and i still talk on the phone...initially it was everyday...then once a week, then once in two weeks. now its just random..

But babe, if its just the distance thing...then i believe it can be worked out...i wish d problem my ex and i had was just a distance thing!

BBB said...

sweetheart its not just the distance thing oh
its way much more
way way more

i just cant talk about it here
i tried to talk about it on the private blog
but i just want to let sleeping dogs lie

seye said...

i am seye *<- scratch that* speechless as before but i know you'd be fine. :)

I still see the Happy in BBB.

doll said...

k. am sure you will be fine....stay blessed ok and keep up the optimism..optimistic alyzz...LOL...take care

Nutty J. said...

//there is this unsuspecting peace in me
something calming//

Okay...I think you feel this way cos you are still in denial and the impact of the 'almost break up' hasnt hit you yet.

when it does, be sure not to hold back....crying is good. it gives you a release.

And yes....that man is not the only man who can love you and vise-versa

blogoratti said...

Aw..you been through so much-but glad you still got a positive outlook on everything!
Wish you strength for today...and courage for tomorrow!

Harry-Rami Itie said...

God is ur strength...stay strong chica!

Miss Enigma a.k.a UnderCover07 said...

*sigh* It is well my dear. It is not going to be easy, but like you said, God hasn't abandoned you...His arms are forever waiting to envelope you and carry you when your feet fails you.

Stay strong, and if you ever need to talk, vent, whatever ...if you need a listening ear to just be there, biko dnt be a stranger, feel free to bother me.

All the best dear...e-hugs!!!

Temite said...

amazing...little one.
You will be fine...I know you know that. :)
May the peace last always...and when its cold and dark and you are alone, i hope for you comfort.

You know where to find me.
Just find me...If you need a thing. :)

blinkie said...

Please dnt break up.

neefemi said...

I'm glad you are alive above all. It is well dear, make sure to cry when it comes time to cry and try not to dwell on the bad parts but the good parts, time heals all wounds. Take care dear

onosetale(damsel) said...

wow, maybe things can be worked out?? i hope. Your right though: the power of prayer cant be overestimated...something ive come to learn

Sting said...

Take one day at a time. I'm glad u survive the robbery and that you are well. As long as there's life, there's hope. Keep your head up and in time, you will smile again.

Myne Whitman said...

Thank God for your life and TY, for surviving the robbery and kidnap attempt. Material things can always be replaced. I believe your relationship is in flux now and may still work out. Just take it a day at a time. You'll be fine, HUGGSS.

honey91 said...

Thank God you're okay...things cuda been worse.
Letting go after 6 years has got to be hurt like hell but I'm sure it will all work out for the best.
Good luck tho

2cute4u said...

Mite I say 'I'm sorry' and hope it won't sound trivial?
I don't even know what to say to you right now maybe cause I'm not stable right now.
So I'd err on the side of caution and not say much right now but promise to send you a mail when I'm less messed up, yeah?..
Take care my dear..

miss.fab said...

Oh wow. Thank God you're okay. Sorry to hear about TY... Just trust in God and know that with time everything will work together for your good.

LE DYNAMIQUE PROFESSEUR said...

BBB, you have said it all...

"things have been bad
but i am not broken
i am not shattered
i will stand and rise above it"

Sunshine is what's next after the rain. YOu will be fine. Listen, "for I know the thoughts that I think towards you...thoughts of GOOD AND NOT OF EVIL TO GIVE YOU AN EXPECTED END"

You are not alone in this. God is thinking about you and I am sure you can't wait for his wonderful package. All that the enemy has stolen in your life, He will restore to you more than 7 folds in Jesus' name. Brighten up!

- LDP

Tega said...

Awww sorry dear

Trust...It'll get better...trust God

Hugs

Omotee! said...

Babes, i'm sure it hurts as hell. so sorry, c'est la vie.

do what is best, even if its breaking up, u r going to be fine.
*cyber hugss*

Omotee! said...

and thank God for ur life, its a good thing nothing bad happened to both of u. thank God

Zoe Believer said...

Thank God for life, wow! All I can say is God has greater things in store for you, doesn't mean this doesn't include this young man as well. Sometimes the best thing one can do is just be, 'the power of prayer can't be underestimated'...true word, talk to your Father but talk to your friends and let them cover you in prayer on the days it gets too much. Big hugs to you

Tisha said...

i did not know this happened...
I am so so sorry
You know i got your back right. I wanted to say "It's okay to still love him..." but i did not know how you would take it.
I wanted to say "You know you never stop loving the ones you love..." but i don't know if it will ease your pain...
All i know is that the sun will set today and rise tomorrow and it is a sign that God's covenant with you cannot be broken, He's with you and taking good care of you.
Shalom

Thanks for sharing...

mizchif said...

Thank God for sparing both your lives.

Don't think there's anything else i can say that won't sound too cliche....

Be well babes.

NewLife said...

"i know God hasn't abandoned me"
"the power of prayer cant be underestimated"
may you always find comfort in Him, I'm sorry you are hurting so much, hope you feel better now

1st time here

Miss FlyHigh said...

HappyBBB , I am proud of you :)

I'm proud because you seem strong and your staying positive. It is hard and not easy but you will overcome of a truth you will overcome it.

"things have been bad
but i am not broken
i am not shattered
i will stand and rise above it"

Amen to the above.

Take care hun

beautiful said...

hmmmmm....don't even know wat to say rite nw...

p.s : wats ur email addy? just saw ur comment on my last post, we gats talk off blogger!

BBB said...

@beautiful
moiselvee@gmail.com

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

OMG BBB! I've been MIA from blogsville for a while now, I'm so sorry that you've been going through so much.

I pray that the Lord will strengthen and comfort you.

As crazy as it may sound, when you're going thru so many trails at once...be happy because God is def getting ready to do some major things in your life...he's gonna do a new thing...all things are gonna work in your favor!

And about the breakup, it's def going to be hard...just go thru motions, if you need to cry...cry!...If you need to scream...scream! Let it out...pray...hang out with friends or keep yourself busy to get your mind off of it. *e-hug* Stay strong luv!

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