Monday, February 14, 2011

:| *straight face*

disclaimer: outside of blogger i dont want to talk about it!!!!

roses are red
violets are blue
my smile is dead
because you making me blue

i done did it again
fell for another dude that has decided I'm not worth it
i am in feeling sorry for myself mood
so please let me rant
i really like him
i might love him
maybe i do
i guess if i didn't like him i wouldn't care

i am beginning to think letting someone know your true feeling might be a big mistake
it either drives them away
or makes them think your forehead is now labeled with "FOOL WHO WILL TAKE CRAP"

maybe i forced it
or i pushed him into telling me he liked me back
no that's not true
i don't think i did that
whatever it is or was btw us didn't just start the day i said i liked him
i thought maybe cause we were already friends it'd be easier
and i could speak my mind
and i wouldn't say he didn't encourage me
in fact I'm pretty sure he did
and right now my mind is playing games with me making me think i pushed everything.

i really like him
Gods know why
i am not used to being with a guy that makes me work this hard
no matter what went wrong in my old relationship, the ex would always make sure there was peace
he didn't have pride when it came to me.
bt he had pride with others
this is the exact opposite
mr new guy is totally humble with others
but not with me
i cannot baby another guy.
especially one who isn't ready to share with me.
one who wouldn't talk to me, whats the big secret
i just want to be there
feel i am in your life
and i am important
i just want to know where i stand with you
friend or lover?
its driving me crazy not knowing.
its frustrating not knowing
its annoying not being sure.
i don't like games

i don't want to discuss this
i just want to rant.
when a guy would be sweet today and totally cold the next what does that mean
when a guy is available today and "selectively available" tomorrow what does that mean
i don't want to be another statistic
and i don't want to get hurt more than i already have.

i might keep quiet and take it all cos i really like you
but i have my insecurities too
and after a while i do have my pride too
and it kicks in with full force
if there is one thing i have learnt from my last breakup its dat i can be in pain, i can hurt
and just suffer in silence, cos i believe i deserve better
his acting misguided like i am behaving unreasonable and he has done nothing wrong is just killing me more.

roses are red
violets are blue
my smile is dead
because you making me blue

....................................... valentine 2011


Just...Toluwa said...

been there. bt i cnt rili say i know how u feel, cos we r all diff. But i do hope in time he lets you know where u stand.

Blessing said...

It must really sux to not know where u stand especially if u have feelings for the guy...I'd say that u give him space...let him chase u


Different yet similar - that's what a relationship is usually like. While you may not like something about him, if you really like him or perhaps may love him, then come to terms with telling him how you feel about the things he does you don't like... that's a good way to start.

I agree with Blessing too.. Let him chase you. Give him space. He is mean to do the chasing...

I feel u!


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